Janet W. Ferguson 
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Blog: Under the Southern Sun

My Mother Planted Flowers/Mother’s Day without a Mother

5/12/2015

12 Comments

 

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No mother is perfect. The Good Lord knows I’m not, but I believe my mother gave it her best shot.

Growing up in a small mill town of Cordova, Alabama, with very little money and no father in her home for the majority of her life, she still claimed to have a happy childhood.

Maybe it’s a generational thing, but she kept her emotions locked up tight when she raised my sisters and me. At times, that created some distance and a lack of understanding, especially with my generation that can dump out every passing feeling. But the things she did well, she endeavored to accomplish with gusto and left a legacy of love in the process.

The lady could cook, and she did every single night until Alzheimer’s made it dangerous. Because of her year of nursing school during World War II, she could make up a bed like nobody’s business, and I still miss her when I’m sick. Okay, I still cry for her when I’m really sick. And grandchildren—boy did she love them. She’d sit on the floor and play, even in her eighties, making each one feel special.

All these memories comfort me on Mother’s Day. But most especially flowers. My mother loved to plant. She could put a dead-looking stick in the ground and add her special root tonic, and it’d sprout leaves. All around my yard I see the evidence. Around the entire South in the spring, I see her as I recall names of flowers she raised. From the early daffodils and red bud trees through the chrysanthemums and camellias, they all remind me of her sitting on a little garden stool also well into her eighties. She said working the ground brought her close to the Lord, gave her time to think and pray. Perhaps that’s the biggest seed she planted—the dedication to the Lord and the determination to keep trying.

I don’t have a green thumb, and I can’t make a bed look good to save my life. The debate still rages on my cooking. But I hope to plant a seed of love in my children and grandchildren with the things I do well, whatever they are. Like my mother.

What legacy did your mother leave you?


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12 Comments
LeAnne Bristow link
5/12/2015 02:52:20 pm

What a beautiful post Janet. My mother has been gone for 18 years now, but there are many things I miss about her. I'm sad that my own girls never got to know her.

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Janet Ferguson
5/12/2015 11:43:59 pm

Mothers leave such a mark on our hearts. Your girls will know part of her through you.

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Callie Martin link
5/13/2015 12:17:17 pm

This made me miss my mom. And we still live in the same house! Just the thought of not having her... She's taught me so much about how to love and stay joyful no matter the circumstances.

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Janet Ferguson
5/13/2015 12:51:17 pm

Aww, Callie, you do have a wonderful mom! And your joy is an inspiration to everyone you meet!

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Jackie Layton
5/14/2015 11:13:49 pm

A love of flowers and a legacy of family loyalty are two of the many things my mother taught me. I have flowers from my mom's and my grandmother's gardens in my yard now despite moving numerous times. My other grandmother gave me money to buy azaleas when my youngest child was born. I couldn't move those from Georgia, but I always plant azaleas in honor of her.

Thanks for sharing your beautiful flowers and your beautiful story.

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Janet Ferguson
5/15/2015 02:52:26 am

Jackie,
Your mother and grandmother sound like mine. I plan to take a few pieces of plants and bulbs if I ever move. Not sure if I'll have any luck planting them myself, ha!

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Melissa Henderson
5/5/2016 08:25:10 am

My Mama went to be with the Lord on Feb. 5th, 2013, one week before her 92nd birthday. I miss her and my Daddy so much. I am 55 years old and still need them. Mama gave me her love for reading and for sharing with others. I was blessed with a wonderful Mama and Daddy.

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Janet Ferguson
5/5/2016 09:48:01 am

Melissa, I'm so sorry, and I know how you feel about still needing them. I'm so glad you had good parents. It is a blessing. Hugs.

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Joyce Heart"wings"
5/5/2016 08:47:36 am

Janet, thank you for this heart-warming remembrance. I can not look at a sweetheart rose without thinking about my own mother. She too left a legacy of flowers in my heart.

She did not trust me in her old age because I had a cousin who treated her own mother terribly - taking all of her assets and leaving her to the live out the end of her life destitute. This was sad, because it was a totally undeserved distrust. Her feelings did not blot out the loving childhood she and my daddy gave to me.

In her last years alone, because daddy died a few years before her, I believe she regretted her feelings toward me, but she never put that into words. She lived far away, so our only communication in those years was my phone calls to her.

Thank you, Janet, for re-kindling my happy memories of time spent with her and seeing the joy of her smile once again. j

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Janet Ferguson
5/5/2016 09:52:37 am

Joyce,
I'm so sorry you had that extra grief because of the mistrust. I sometimes wonder if that was generational thing, or just age doing things to the mind. I'm glad you have some good memories to cherish. Hugs.

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Carole Brown link
5/5/2016 09:07:16 am

What a lovely post. My mother was a lot like yours, I'm thinking. I lost her last year and miss her. I didn't always understand her, but I loved her very much. Thanks for posting!

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Janet Ferguson
5/5/2016 09:49:48 am

Carole,
So sorry. Only losing her last year, I know you're still adjusting. We can't always understand each other or our parents, but we can still love fiercely. Hugs.

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