Hi friend,
You might have heard this story already. If so, maybe share with someone who might benefit from it. 🙂
Three decades ago, a car ran a red light and crashed into the vehicle I was a passenger in.
At the time, I was pregnant with my daughter. Time seemed to move in slow motion as I watched the car coming toward us. I kept looking at the light, thinking: it’s green, they’re going to stop.
My head was turned to watch as the other car came closer to impact. I saw the driver’s head turned, talking to his passenger.
I felt our car speed up as, thankfully, my dad noticed the oncoming vehicle and pressed the gas at the last seconds before impact.
If not, the accident would’ve have been much worse.
The other car never pressed the brakes and impacted on the back passenger door. I was in front, my mother was on the passenger side back seat.
We landed an inch away from a telephone pole in the yard of a fire station.
I left in an ambulance, due to neck pain, but my fear was for my unborn child.
She’s fine, but what I didn’t know would stay with me beside some aggravating neck problems after that wreck was…
Anxiety
I began feeling tremendous anxiety in vehicles. And eventually began having panic attacks while driving on the interstate, which was odd because my wreck wasn’t on an interstate.
But somehow the wreck triggered something in my brain that had to do with fight or flight mode. An acute stress response.
I’d heard of panic attacks on a news show and thought, that was so silly. Just do whatever it is, and go on with life.
But that judgement came back to bite me.
This issue that I thought was silly became a problem I would deal with for the rest of my life. So far.
Well I’m the kind of person who kind of lets it all hang out. I am what I am. This is it. I’m open about it my problem. I joke with my friends about the fact that if we’re going somewhere requiring us to drive on the interstate, I’m not going to be the one to drive.
Because I’m open about my anxiety issue, over the years, I’ve met a lot of people who confided that they too had panic attacks, or suffered from depression, bipolar, or some other brain or emotional disorder.
What I found that hurt my heart so much was that not only did these people suffer from a disorder that in and of itself was miserable, they also suffered from shame because of it. Embarrassment. The feeling that no one would understand.
That people would think, like I used to, they should just get over it. Like me. before I had suffered my own first panic attack.
I wanted to write a story that showed no matter what our weakness or problem or disorder, we are all still useful. We can be a part of doing good things even while we are still suffering.
Sometimes we just have to accept our suffering and look outside of that. Look outside ourselves and see how we can be a good friend, a good family member, a listening ear, a volunteer–do a job that we can do.
And we must know that God still loves us.
He is here with us in our suffering.
He cares.
He suffered during His time on earth and understands our pain.
I find many verses in the Bible that provide encouragement. Here’s just one.
Romans 8:18
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”
So that’s one strand of how I came to write my very first novel Leaving Oxford.
I hope you or someone you know finds the story encouraging.
What’s going on in your life? Leave a comment or connect through my page or social media!
Blessings in Him,
Janet
